The winner of this quarter's "I've Got Something You Don't Have" Award is Sergeant Cecil Loving, of the West Jordan (UT) Department of Public Safety.  Sgt.Loving started out his e-mail by saying that his evidence room had a horrible smell.  That didn't win for him.  I've talked to many people whose rooms smelled.  What won was that he was actually able to identify the cause.  Here it is in his own words:

After nine years on the department, I was assigned to be the evidence room tech, with the express purpose of getting rid of the smell.  Being a detective, I found my first clue on a property report which read "one head of lettuce, one tomato, and three limes."  This case was promptly cleared and the evidence disposed of.

The next was a three year-old freezer style pepperoni pizza.  It was booked in on a shoplifting case from a nearby 7-11 store.  I broke the seal and opened the pizza box and found a perfectly round black circle.  By that time it was only fine powder, with about 12 smaller circles, all of a very hard substance.

There were also three floor drains that had dried up and allowed the sewer smell to come back up into the evidence room and into the office area.

Needless to say, we no longer book food items, and we keep the floor drain traps filled with water.

We also have some special "honorable mentions" for this issue.  During the California Association for Property and Evidence (CAPE) annual Property Officer Conference in Palm Springs in early March of this year, the challenge again went out.  "I've got something you don't have."

The response was overwhelming, but since the selection had already been made, the property professionals with items "thrown out" at the CAPE conference will have to be satisfied with being "honorably mentioned." A record was set, however, as three definite "winners" were brought up in less than four minutes of discussion.  Can you beat:

• One human ear, complete with earring
• One heap, bunch, pile (or whatever the correct descriptor is) of horse manure, wrapped in a napkin
• One plate of enchiladas laced with insect poison

PLEASE, Keep those cards and letters coming.